All About Me
That's me, Martha. With most of the trouble spots Photoshopped away. Why, oh why, can't I live my entire life in Photoshop?
The Essence Of Martha
My, it's hard to describe yourself. For about ten years, I was a lawyer (with varying degrees of dissatisfaction), but I'm now an author. I'm also a wife, a mother to two young sons (Donovan, 6, and Simon, 3), and the owner of a puppy who one day soon will send me to the mental hospital what with the yippy barking. I am and will always be a New Yorker at heart, even though I am currently displaced in Arizona.
Somehow, several years back, I got lucky enough to sign on with an agent who reads my blog, and was able to wrangle a book deal out of it. My first book, IVY BRIEFS: True Tales of a Neurotic Law Student was published by Atria Books (a division of Simon & Schuster) on May 15, 2007. It's sort of a "Legally Blonde" meets "One L," and if you're reading this, I expect you to buy it. A girl's got to earn out her advance, you know.
Here are the things I believe:
I believe in wine with a real cork, in belly laughs, and in tickle fights. I believe in saying no to people sometimes. I believe that you should either wear high heels or go barefoot. I believe that sometimes you should let your kids eat chocolate ice cream for breakfast, but I also believe in the importance of teaching them that they aren't the ones ultimately in charge. I believe in the snooze button. I believe that the left lane is for passing, and that slow drivers should stick to the right. I believe that everyone should know how to speak at least one foreign language. I believe in self-indulgence and in making spaghetti sauce from scratch. I believe that everyone should try to do at least one lasting thing to make the world a better place. I believe that life is best when you can laugh at yourself.
Some more things about me, but nowhere near 100 of them:
I bruise easily.
I eat carbs unapologetically.
I play well with others.
I'm an only child.
I have tendencies towards laziness.
I'm addicted to bed. I'm the worst getter upper EVER. Seriously.
I swear like a sailor, but never in front of my kids.
I don’t tan. I freckle.
I love anchovies.
I'm a semi-secret knitter.
I suck at most everything athletic.
I am shamelessly addicted to reality TV.
I like most anybody who can make me laugh.
I'm in love with Scott Baio.
I'm Ivy League educated, and I have the student loan debt to prove it.
I like hearing from you. So go ahead and e-mail me or leave me a comment here. I don't bite. I promise. Or, if you want, go ahead and buy my something from my wish list. Sometimes people do that, and it makes me squeal. And you know what? I'm super powerful and I've got a direct line to God, and I make sure that those are the people who are going straight to heaven.
Some of us already knew you were wonderful...this just helps prove it :-)
Posted by: Chris | July 18, 2004 at 07:08 AM
I LOAVE me some MARTHA, oh yes I DO!!!! Yup!
Posted by: Scarlett Cyn | July 19, 2004 at 01:40 AM
Cool "About Me" page!
Posted by: Fraulein N | July 19, 2004 at 05:02 AM
I love this... "I'm the worst getter upper ever."
We should start a club.
And I, as well, loave me some Martha!
Posted by: Suzanna Danna | July 19, 2004 at 06:21 AM
Don't remember how I surfed over, but I really enjoyed reading your blog today. I TOTALLY see you skydiving on Amazing Race, even though I have never seen the show and have only a cursory understanding of what it is.
Posted by: lisa | July 29, 2004 at 01:03 PM
I'm stalking you. Not well, of course, because I found this site not long ago and we all know that a real stalker knows every move of their stalk-ee. Is that a word, stalk-ee?
I think I just made up a new word.
Now, what were we talking about?
Posted by: Kate | September 09, 2004 at 01:29 PM
Hi, I'm a new reader from Mississippi. I linked to you through DGM. I'm a court reporter in criminal court so that makes me nosey as hell!! Thanks for the glimpse into your world.
Posted by: Cindy | June 22, 2006 at 03:46 PM
Hey - new to your blog - found you through, of all things, a search on that old 80s song "I hear the secrets that you keep..." anyway, I have been reading through - love your stuff and congrats on the book!
Posted by: Wendy | July 18, 2006 at 08:24 PM
Hi. I surfed in througn DadGoneMad. I still say I can kick Nietzsche's ass.
Posted by: Cappy | August 29, 2006 at 06:39 PM
Cool about page. but I have to say, no one can beat me at being the worst getter-upper ever. I am abysmal! I snooze the alarm until it refuses to snooze any longer and then, quite often, I just go back to sleep. Hehe.
Posted by: starrynite | September 24, 2006 at 07:03 PM
it's the first time I see a wish list on a blog...love it! I was directed to your site for blog advertising purposes.
o.k. I don't feel like buying you anything but I can give you a free electronic time capsule account. reply to david@electronictimecapsule.com and thou shall give you an account!
Was it yourself or your husband who also painted their toes blue?
Posted by: DavidR | September 27, 2006 at 06:53 AM
We might have to go to fisticuffs over Scott Baio. And I quoteth from speech of Chachi: "wah wah wah."
Great blog. I'm in.
Posted by: Librarian Girl | November 26, 2006 at 03:31 PM
This is my sanctuary....I can't wait for your book. Someday I hope Miss Moxie, follows Miss Doxie on your list of links.
Posted by: Miss Moxie | December 15, 2006 at 01:27 AM
AWESOME that the book is coming out! YEAH for YOU! For some reason I can't email you but PLEASE PLEASE know that you have a free blog ad at whitetrashmom.com whenever you want it girl.
Congrats!
Posted by: Michelle | February 28, 2007 at 05:41 PM
When I was whining about not knowing what webpages to emulate when creating my own, a little birdie forwarded this one. I'm glad they did. I gotta earn out my advance too, girl, so I'm putting the karma out there and buying your book.
Posted by: lara | July 31, 2007 at 02:05 PM
I just happened upon this blog by double checking the spelling for 'snooze'. I bet you've never gotten a hit (or at least, an admitted one) that way before!
You're now bookmarked, and I can't wait to neglect my housework by reading everything!
Thanks from Alberta, Canada!
Posted by: Melissa Osborne | November 12, 2007 at 10:45 AM
You appear to be much cooler than Joe makes you out to be! I won't believe ANYTHING he says anymore!
Posted by: Rick | November 14, 2007 at 01:44 PM
hey martha--enjoyed reading through your blog tonight. i am also a believer in wine with a real cork. i refuse to buy the screw tops...what the hell? i also believe in left-lane passing and unapologetic carb eating. so, how is it to have something published??
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